I read Emeh's blog everyday and i must say its quite refreshing, so i asked her to be the guest blogger on my blog and she obliged, as usual she bowled me over. And dont forget to drop by her blog http://misspetitenigeria.blogspot.com/
Its a bit of a lengthy read but interesting.
You just couldn't wait to read it right?well,so have a million others around the world,its so appalling when you think of the amount of time,money and effort we spend in the quest for the perfect relationship.
We read books(subscribe to online dating sites,hop from one relationship to the other,change our out looks and mannerisms,cry,fight,even use jazz(fetish means),and still end up back where we started. lonely,sad,unfulfilled and heartbroken.
Not one to pick the spec from the eyes of others while ignoring the log in mine, heaven knows I too suffered from"perfect relationship syndrome. In my quest for the perfect relationship i have read every thing from "how to hypnotise a man,secrets to trapping that man forever,catch that man in 3 days,get your ex back,making that man a slave to your love(I better not mention some names..lol), to the acclaimed "Art of Seduction" .
Ok!I was fascinated by this book and I read and applied it to the latter. I tried to be like cleopatra whom they said captured the worlds greatest men (eg ceaser)with a single glance. what was her secret? Evolving. she made sure she evolved ,her looks ,her hair,outfits,fragrance etc.she always made her men feel like they were meeting her for the first time. Always put on a show. Was she the most beautiful?No she was even described as an average looking woman.
Well,I tried to apply the rules of cleopatra which was quite a task and seemed to be working then(at least for four months).even did the cleopatra hair style.I forgot one thing,I wasn't cleopatra,this wasn't the ancient era,and I wasn't dealing with the world's greatest men. I was dealing with normal,down to earth African men who didnt reason the way ceaser did. They didn't give an f...-f I tried to evolve like a chameleon. All they wanted was food in their stomachs and probably.....
As a matter of fact,I was being downright fake and pretentious.it wasn't easy wearing a fake pout,speaking with a drawl,forming sexy. The only thing which I kept out of the experience was my cleopatra hair(I rocked)
From my quest to be cleopatra,marylin monroe,I landed another book(keeping that man forever)which laid down rules.
_never ask a man out
_do not give out your number on the first meeting
_dont know his house until the fourth date
_dont pick his calls once in a while
_let him see you hanging around other guys...
Bla bla bla
Lovely rules but ever watched the movie" two can play the game"!(Not the nigerian version oo)well that movie brings out the intricacies and disadvantages of starting a relationship based on rules.
Nor matter how hard we(male and female )try not to apply rules,we find ourselves applying them sometimes un intentionally.we do this for two reasons
Protect ourselves from hurt
Make sure the ones we lov never leave.
What these books don't tell us is that,"rules don't apply to everyone" ,there's this rule a guy I know lived by,when he met a beautiful lady,he acted like she was the most ugly in the room. Why? Because he felt beautiful ladies were used to so much attention and so,would be captivated by a man who was nonchalant. nice one if you ask me but,there came a time he really fell inlove with a very beautiful girl,so he put her down as usual,never complementing her. It worked initially,then she snapped and decided she couldn't take it nomore.she moved in with someone who appreciated her,told her how beautiful she was ad all attempts by my friend to tell her he didn't mean it fell on deaf ears. She didn't believe he was playing mind games on her.
So,my number one rule is"being yourself".I don't mean being a cheat(if that's yourself ooo)just being comfortable. The fact that your spouse walked up to you and indicated interest means you had it going for you,don't spoil it with the games.
Sorry,got to take this important call "hello dear(in my cleopatra voice)lol..