Saturday, 24 September 2011


I got this from
Open Discussion Entry

Hello, can you please ask your readers my question, i need help with this.

I'm seeing someone, he's sweet, has a great career and i am completely in love with him. We've been dating for a while now and since the beginning he has said he doesn't like it when i wear makeup, put in extensions or sleep with my silk head scarf.

Now the thing is i don't even wear a lot of makeup, mostly eye liner and very light powder. I wear extensions sometimes but he kept on complaining about my weave, he likes completely natural girls and he says i'm beautiful without all of that. So at first i said fine and i stopped wearing makeup as much and stopped wearing weaves all together but the thing is i have relaxed hair and anytime i go to the hair salon i have to wrap my hair and sometimes i like to leave my scarf on when i'm at home relaxing, chilling you know. Well that turned out to be a problem with him because he hates when women wrap their hair, i tried a silk pillowcase but i prefer scarves.

It's annoying because what he wants is some natural girl who doesn't wear weave, make up or wrap her hair but I love wearing makeup and sometimes i like wearing my weaves and i am not about to give up my head wrap, he doesn't understand that i have to do all of this to look good for him. He loves when my hair looks nice and bouncy but if i don't wrap my hair at night it's going to be a hot mess the next day. He said he doesn't date women who wear scarves to bed and i have "good hair" i don't need it.

He is such a good guy, I know he only wants me to be myself, he never puts me down and he has made me discover my natural beauty. But i'm starting to believe he is trying to change me into this "wife" image he has and problem is i like myself as i am, i don't see a big deal in wearing a little eye liner and extensions to enhance my beauty. What should i do? Am i being too shallow? Should i throw out my makeup and stop wrapping my hair around him? or is it time to reevaluate our relationship?

Please help me with any advice you have.Guys what do you think.


Anonymous said...

Come oh Yeni, u no dey sleep or tire sef? Aaahan, u try oh!

That aside,i think she should sit him down and talk to him bcos it might pose a threat to their relationship.

I dont see anything wrong with scarps or light makeup, she gats sit him down and let them reach a compromise.

To me though he sounds a bit controlling but i might be wrong.

Anonymous said...

In as much as compromise is needed in every relationship,u should exactly kill urself to pls him. If he can't cope with a bit of ur make up, extensions and scarfs(kini big deal)babe I suggest u carry ur leg nd go... M sure this won't be ur last relationship. Like my mama says#eti e melo meaning,how many ears do u have

Anonymous said...

My dear there aren't so many men out there these days and u say he is good,maybe u should just do what he asks,I don't think they are so bad. Shebi na him go dey give u money everyday to go do d hair when e don scatter

BITCH said...

@Anonymous 1;54: i think you are very daft, what do u mean by "My dear there aren't so many men out there these days and u say he is good,maybe u should just do what he asks,I don't think they are so bad"

Are you blind abi you no read the tory well ni?she says she doesnt exactly feel comfortable with it, last time i checked if you dont feel comfortable with something mot importantly in a relationship and u guys have talked bout it and nothing seems to be happening, better carry your bag and go.

So if your bf/husband is beating u, u should stay abi because there are no men outside, when e beat u one day kill you na grave u go dey look for man wey u wan plan wedding with abi. Ode

My dear reader pls if you are not comfortable carry your boxes and exit.What is wrong in using light make up and tying a scarf to bed as long as its not those horrid hair nets.

So if he says he always wants you to suck his balls because he thinks its natural u go bend down do am abi?lwkm. My dear na u know wetin suit u! all d best

lola said...

@BITCH na wa oh! ur name no get part 2. lwkm @ ur comment especially the balls part. But u took it rather p sha*no pun intended

Biko @anonymous 1:54 are you lacking men, what do u mean guys are not out there?Talk for urself oh! rubbish

Anonymous said...

People already know what they want to do 60% of the time but only need confirmation from others. You know what decision is best for you babes, do it...x

isaymymind said...

my dear i advise that u sit him and tell him how you really feel because if u guys dont reach a compromise theres no point going ahead with it


My take is this... if you are not yet married, then there is a limit to what he can ask you to do that you must do. And during courtship, you have to spell out these things. That's what courtship is all about, knowing each others' likes and dislikes and seeing how you can match up and be a couple perfect for each other.

Moreover, when you are married, it is whatever your husband ask you to wear that you must wear. Cos you are now living to please him. Same goes for the man too... it is what the wife deems as attractive that you should wear. When you said, "he doesn't understand that i have to do all of this to look good for him"

The only way to look good for him, is to dress in the language he understands, not ur own way.