Thursday 8 September 2011

AINT LIFE A BITCH---GUEST BLOGGER---Emeh Achanga

I was @ the salon today.Yes I frequent the salon more often than you think! That's where it all goes down!The gossips,d schemes,the man snatching! Trust me,it all originates there.Well,I was there,waiting in line to fix my hair when a goddess walked in.I mean I wasn't intimidated.I am a fine lady too..lol..but, when I saw her $800 yellow christian louboutin pumps,&300 D&G micro mini black dress,120k polo Wristwatch her $2000 Hermes bag and of course her 145 thousand naira 33 inch long Brazilian hair that made one lady shove her premium human hair back in her bag,lol..I couldn't help but do a double check at my Atmosphere top, 5,00O naira Paris Hilton flats, Sekonda wristwatch..what again...(thinking). I better keep the rest to myself.I mean,this lady was a walking advertisement of designer items.
(Don't ask how I know the costs of all these things.I'm a lady right!)


This lady was painfully beautiful and elegant.(At least to me).and to make matters worse,she was sporting some serious Cartier wedding band.(Of course which man wouldn't want to keep her?)So I wasn't surprised ,when the stylists started clamoring to attend to her.
We been waiting for hours?why should this lady just come and the whole world stops.Despite the protests from fellow women,she had her hair straightened.While she was being attended to, a conversation ensued between two ladies and as usual every one joined in on it.


One of the ladies was complaining about her husband cheating on her with her best friend.This beautiful lady who had been quiet all along waited until she was ready to leave and said with scorn written all over her face"dear,with the way you are dressed,why wouldn't ur husband cheat on you? Take a good look @ me! No man alive would look @ another woman,let alone cheat on me.Go get urself some victoria secret lingerie, hit the gym and he'll probably look at you." On that shocking note, she walked out into her range rover sport(yes I peeped)and drove off.
Then the gossips started.she is the wife of chucks(name withheld)a lagos island big boy who deals in crude oil."They just got married last year"!"she isn't beautiful @ all,money made her fine."Then someone mentioned her husbands surname and my Blackberry torch dropped .Her husband is who?I asked again!They repeated the name, I dipped my hand in my bag and brought out the business card I had been keeping for a long while.I looked at my call log to be sure I wasn't dreaming.Yes, it was the same Chucks who had been chasing me for over a year,the same Chucks who calls me everyday saying he's unhappy.The same Chucks whose gifts I returned .The same Chucks I swore never to have anything with coz.......
of his marital status.As I watched that Lady drive off, I thought to myself,maybe she ain't that beautiful after all.Maybe,I was carried away by her extravagance.I smiled to myself as I dialed the number on the card."Am I speaking to Chucks Osita" An excited voice responded"Yes you are dear, glad to have you call me.I would give you the world" "Why would you give me the world"? Because you have the most genuine person I've known, you are simple,down to earth, natural and it would be such a relief to be around your kind of person for a change" I let his last statement hang in the air before saying
" I just called to say your wife is very beautiful, you shouldn't be cheating on her.Goodbye and don't call me again"I could feel the awkward silence between us as I pressed on the end button.
I did the right thing.But of course she doesn't know, her husband not only looks at other women,he loves to be with another woman because she's everything his wife is not.


Ain't Life A Bitch????

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

most men (and women too..) have relationships outside of their marriages. it is a fact of life which does not translate to the man taking a 2nd wife.

in life, things...does happen and you deal with it as it comes.

expensive designers accessories and having the miss 9ja for a wife does not guarantee anything.

unfortunately, your guest blogger's future husband will 51% likely have a girlfriend sometimes in their married life and this life's roving musical chair will continue.

Emeh Achanga said...

hmmnnn..glad to be here.Lovely blog

Anonymous said...

i love love this story, wow can u imagine. The stupid designer wife, most men cheat, its a way of life

jk said...

Well well well, nobody has it all. We sld all know dat.

Anonymous said...

Haha the designer woman is evidently stupid then,can u imagine...haha. She thinks its cuz she pancakes herself with every material thing abi. Baby u got to pancake yourself with a good attitude/character, in d kitchen,in bed and in prayer. She what her husband is saying he wants a breath of fresh air,she really needs to be told this story oh! So she doesn't gork herself and I'm sure fear catch am that's why she waited for them to finish her hair nd be near the door.haha. But why should the one whose husband is cheating on her with her "best friend" was her dirty laundry outside,biko get a brain. Women:we can be defined as destroyers of ourselves

Anonymous said...

wow! me likey!

life is indeed a bitcha!


p.s, may i copy it H.M.E?

HOMEMADE ENTERTAINMENT said...

@ibhade:yes you can,most def.

@Emeh:thanks dear

Anonymous said...

Thank you dear.

Anonymous said...

I'm with the 1st anonymous! Her comment just wraps it up really..m

Anonymous said...

LMAO OMG!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

damnnnn!!! LOOOL - see her mouth... lol kaiii.... psshewww.. i don't even know what to say but this is funny.